I must confess.

Recently I sat down and made a list of some of the stupid mistakes I’ve made over the last 25 years. The list was long and very disturbing, to say the least. After carefully reviewing the list, I asked myself a few questions.  Should I publish this? Should I let everyone know just how stupid I’ve been over the last 25 years? I know that confession is good for the soul, but is it good for the public? Do I really want people who are in my circle of friends to know how immature and irresponsible I’ve been? Do I really want to give those who don’t know me or my personality a reason to dislike me or judge me? Or to give those who already have a negative opinion of me more ammunition to use against me? Then I thought, No! It’s no one’s business what kind of mistakes I’ve made or how many wrong decisions I made. My wife and family know what my past consists of and besides them there is no one else that needs or should know my failures or lack of good judgement.  So, I took my mouse and dragged the arrow over the list, highlighted it, then hit the delete button, and just like that every mistake I had written down was gone.

Don’t you wish that you could do that with your life? Just drag a mouse over a mistake you made last week, last month or last year, hit the delete button and know that everything would be fine? We’ve all got things in our past that we want to delete or erase from our memory strictly because of the pain and contention it’s caused. We’ve all got issues in our past that we’ve allowed to haunt us for a very, very long time. We’ve allowed the memory of those mistakes to make us think we’re a lot less than what we really are. Some of the mistakes were financial and it’s taken years to correct. Maybe it was a decision to take a job that ended up being the wrong move and you ended up being unhappy and discouraged for the next few years. Even in our marriages, we’ve made mistakes that caused discord and contention with our spouses that has lead to bitterness, distrust and even divorce. We’ve done everything we could to try to correct the mistake, but ended up either with a bigger problem or getting to a point where we threw our hands in the air in defeat because the solution we tried didn’t work.

Well, you would be happy to know that there is a delete button we can push. It’s called confession and it’s very easy to use. It requires the involvement of two people…yours and God’s…no one else. You speak and He listens, then He deletes. It’s that easy.

What happens if I mess up again? That’s a good question that is answered for us in 1 John 2:1. I’ll paraphrase it using the passage from the New Living Translation. My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does make a mistake, a bad decision and sin, we have an advocate, a Friend, a Counselor, a Companion, and a Champion, who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. Delete…delete…delete…delete.

So, for all of you who came to this blog looking for some dirt or to see how badly I’ve lived my life and how disturbed my past has been, I’m sorry to disappoint. You see when I confessed it, He took His mouse and rolled it over those lines, highlighted them, and took them all away….NO FEAR!


Just thoughts on a page...

Building Trust

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and thought, “Is this person really being honest with me” or been in a discussion with a person and they had this look of “are you sure you know what you’re talking about” on their face? Having people trust you and the information you’re sharing is important. The last thing you want is to share information and then have to retract or correct it.

I received this list on how we can become more trustworthy in a recent class I attended. I thought I’d share it.

• 1)Talk straight: Be honest and tell the truth. Even if the truth hurts or cost you.
• 2)Demonstrate respect: you need to show those around you that you care.
• 3)Be transparent: when you give information make sure it’s verifiable.
• 4)Right any wrong: Apologize quickly. Make restitution where possible.
• 5)Show loyalty: Give credit to others and don’t badmouth people behind their backs….Even if others are doing it.
• 6)Deliver results: Get the right things done….done the right way.
• 7)Get Better: Be a constant learner…ask questions. You’ll learn more that way.
• 8)Confront reality: address the tough stuff directly.
• 9)Clarify expectations: Discuss them, don’t violate them.
• 10)Practice accountability: Take responsibility for results, good and bad…Don’t blame others for your mess ups.
• 11)Listen first: Use your ears before you use your mouth. Don’t assume what you want matters most to others. It usually doesn’t.
• 12)Keep commitments: Don’t try to “PR” your way out of a commitment you’ve broken.
• 13)Extend trust: Learn how to extend trust to others appropriately, based on the situation, risk and credibility of the people involved.

These are not in any particular order, but if I had to list them in order I think I’d start with number eleven, then move on to number one.

Listening to others gives them the feeling that you generally care about what they have to say. Giving them a chance to speak and share their concerns, without interruption, demonstrates the respect for the individual that everyone should be shown. It builds, not only trust from that individual, but the opportunity to be open.

Next would be number 1. Being honest with the people you talk with not only builds trust. But it defines your character. You don’t want people to say, “You can’t believe a word that comes out of that man/woman’s mouth”. Give information honestly and openly, even if the information isn’t positive. Don’t try to spin, mask or mislead anyone with information. Remember, the truth will come out and when it comes out or it’s discovered that you knew the truth but gave false or misleading information, you could be held accountable. Honesty is truly the best policy.

Just a few thoughts….on a page.